His Songs are real easy and yet beautiful.  A winning match!

Grandfather Die

G                    D
When grandfahter dies
C                D
Life will strange
G                    D
When grandfather dies
C                         D
my whole world will change
G                      D
when granderfather dies
C                        D
I'll scream and I'll yell
C                  D 
cause I'll f**king rich 
G
as hell

Chorus
   D          C9
So grandfather die (yeah)
G
don't keep me in suspense
    D          C9
oh, grandfather cough (whoa)
G
up that inheritance
   D          C9
oh grandfather don't
G
hold on another day
D             C9
i love you to death
C            D
but I've got bills to pay

then
e-3-----2
b---2---- 
g--------
d-0---0-0
a--------
e--------

G                     D
A stroke would be nice 
C                    D
disease would be cool
G                     D          
I'll scatter his ashes 
C                      D
In my new swimmin' pool
G                       D
I'll jam with the Stones
C                       D
I'll dine with the Queen
C              D
So what say we unplug
     G
that machine.
(So here we go, 
everybody now)


  D           C9
So grandfather fly
G             
to heaven you must pass
   D           C9
oh grandfather think
G 
of all the juicy angel ass
   D           C9
oh grandfather die
G
before the fiscal year
   D    C9
oh how I 
G
wish Kevorkian were here

then
e-3-----2
b---2---- 
g--------
d-0---0-0
a--------
e--------


Bridge
   Am
For God's sake,
    B          C          D 
you must be as old as the hills
    Am          B
I'm sick of the stench
          C      D
from your diaper spills.
       Am             B
You're deaf, dumb, and blind
       C      D
and an amputee
    Am            B
you Don't make new blood
      C            D
every time that you pee
     Am        B
your arthritis acts up
    C       D
whenever it rains
     Am           B
your so old, your penis
    C        D
has vericose veins
   Am           B 
oh why don't do die grandpa
C           D
why must you fight
    Am        B
you old motherf**ker
     C                D            G 
just walk towards the goddamn light

D  C  D 
     G    D          C         D
oohh walk toward the light old man
G   D          C         D 
walk toward the light old man

then
e-3-----2
b---2---- 
g--------
d-0---0-0
a--------
e--------

G                D
It's all over now
   C                D
My granddaddy's dead
G                D 
a mysterious blow
      C                 D
to his wrinkled old head
G               D 
Before I collect
  C             D 
A small oversight
    C                 D        G
But everything should turn out alright
           C             D 
I'll start working on my grandma...
Precious...
G
Tonight

have any major life questions
check the manual.
there is a god, there is a plan
and the space ship is coming!!!
         - Maria Bamford, Comedy Central Presents 

 Grandfather Die
Somebody else posted this originally this is just the corrected version.
Its a little harder, but it sounds a lot better

G                    D
When grandfahter dies
C                D
Life will strange
G                    D
When grandfather dies
C                         D
my whole world will change
G                      D
when granderfather dies
C                        D
I'll scream and I'll yell
C                  D 
cause I'll f**king rich 
G
as hell

Chorus
   b minor          C
So grandfather die (yeah)
G
don't keep me in suspense
    b minor          C
oh, grandfather cough (whoa)
G
up that inheritance
   b minor          C
oh grandfather don't
G
hold on another day
b minor         C
i love you to death
am            D
but I've got bills to pay

then
e-3-----2
b---2---- 
g--------
d-0---0-0
a--------
e--------

G                     D
A stroke would be nice 
C                    D
disease would be cool
G                     D          
I'll scatter his ashes 
C                      D
In my new swimmin' pool
G                       D
I'll jam with the Stones
C                       D
I'll dine with the Queen
C              D
So what say we unplug
     G
that machine.
(So here we go, 
everybody now)


  b minor       C
So grandfather fly
G             
to heaven you must pass
   b minor       C
oh grandfather think
G 
of all the juicy angel ass
   b minor      C
oh grandfather die
G
before the fiscal year
   bminor    C
oh how I 
am                  D
wish Kevorkian were here

then
e-3-----2
b---2---- 
g--------
d-0---0-0
a--------
e--------


Bridge
   Am
For God's sake,
    Bm          C          D 
you must be as old as the hills
    Am          Bm
I'm sick of the stench
          C      D
from your diaper spills.
       Am             Bm
You're deaf, dumb, and blind
       C      D
and an amputee
    Am            Bm
you Don't make new blood
      C            D
every time that you pee
     Am        Bm
your arthritis acts up
    C       D
whenever it rains
     Am           Bm
your so old, your penis
    C        D
has vericose veins
   Am           Bm 
oh why don't do die grandpa
C           D
why must you fight
    Am        Bm
you old motherf**ker
     C                D            G 
just walk towards the goddamn light

D  C  D 
     G    D          C         D
oohh walk toward the light old man
G   D          C         D 
walk toward the light old man

then
e-3-----2
b---2---- 
g--------
d-0---0-0
a--------
e--------

G                D
It's all over now
   C                D
My granddaddy's dead
G                D 
a mysterious blow
      C                 D
to his wrinkled old head
G               D 
Before I collect
  C             D 
A small oversight
    C                 D        G
But everything should turn out alright
           C             D 
I'll start working on my grandma...
Precious...
G
Tonight 

 Grandfather Die


I tabbed this off of what he played on his Comedy Central-World Comedy Tour
video.  Althought the lyrics are different its still played the same way in his
real song on his cd... Its played in regular tuning just listen to the song for the rhythm...

Tabbed by- Goomba, Arnold S., Me

G                    Bm
When grandfahter dies
C                D
Life will strange
G                    Bm
When grandfather dies
    C                    D
my whole world will change
G                      Bm
when granderfather dies
C                        D
I'll scream and I'll yell
C                  D 
cause I'll f**king rich 
G
as hell

Chorus
   Bm          C
So grandfather die 
G
don't keep me in suspense
    Bm          C
oh, grandfather cough 
G
up that inheritance
   Bm          C
oh grandfather don't
G
hold on another day
Bm           C        Am
I love you to death
            D
but I've got bills to pay

(Stroke Down Once) D

e-2------
b---3---- 
g-----2--
d-------0
a--------
e--------
G                    Bm
A stroke would be nice 
C                    D
disease would be cool
G                     Bm          
I'll scatter his ashes 
C                      D
In my new swimmin' pool
G                 Bm
I'll party with Hef
C                   D
I'll dine with the Queen
C              D
Now what say we unplug
     G
that machine.


  Bm           C
Now grandfather die
G             
before the Fiscal Year
   Bm           C
oh grandfather I
G 
Wish Kervorkian were here
   Bm           C
oh grandfather fly
G
just take your final vow
   Bm       C       Am
oh grandfather die
G
  the family hates you anyhow

(Stroke Down Slowly Once) D

e-2------
b---3---- 
g-----2--
d-------0
a--------
e--------


Bridge
   Am
For God's sake,
    Bm          C          D 
you must be as old as the sun
    Am       Bm        C        D
you're social security number is one
    Am      Bm         C
You're deaf, dumb, and blind
       D
and an amputee
    Am          Bm
you donate your blood
       C            D
every time that you pee
     Am            Bm
your arthritis acts up
     C        D
whenever it rains
    Am         Bm
your so old, your penis
     C            D
has vericose veins
    Am           Bm
oh why don't do die grandpa
   C           D 
why must you fight
 Am           Bm
you old motherf**ker
      C                D
just walk towards the goddamn light


Am Bm  C  D 
     G     Bm          C         D
oohh walk toward the light old man

(Stroke Down Once) D

e-2------
b---3---- 
g-----2--
d-------0
a--------
e--------

G                Bm
It's all over now
   C                D
My granddaddy's dead
G                Bm
a mysterious blow
      C                 D
to his wrinkled old head
G               Bm
Before I collect
  C             D 
A small oversight
    C                 D        G
But everything should work out alright
           C             D           G
I'll start working on my grandma tonight

Chords:
G  (320022)
Bm (x24432)
C  (x32010)
D  (xx0232)
Am (x02210)



If you think this is all wrong just go check out the video clip of it at the
Comedy Central website.  If there are small errors in the song well I guess thats
just too bad cause im not changing it and if these are wrong and you know the
right ones then just be proud of yourself...